OK, have you realised by now that plans are useless in there?
It changes constantly. Ive been there for a while now, you lose track of the time in there. Ive seen some impossible things in there, before i lost my eyes to the crab which was never there before. I still have no explanation for what is going on in there.
A long time ago I lived with the rest of my race of people. We are...were, a race with the gift of everlasting life, only it isn't everlasting, to stay alive we needed to have gold with us at all times and from the gold we drew our invulnerability, but as we drew this power the gold slowly diminished.
We lived in a great city of gold under the sea as this was the only place that we could live without others coming to steal our gold. As the years went on the city slowly shrank down as the gold got used up. Eventually the gold got to a very low level and I was sent out into the world in search of more gold.
Unfortunately this was during a war and I was captured and the supply of gold that had been given to me was taken away from me. Luckily I had taken precautions and had swallowed a large piece of gold before setting off. This gold lasted long enough to keep me alive while i planned my escape. I waited until i had a chance then i just ran out. The guards shot me but it didn't damage me as i still had some gold left inside me.
After escaping i horded a large collection of gold and headed back to the city under the sea, but when i arrived i found the bodies of all my race. Saddened by this I decided to find a place where i could live. After months of travelling i found the house over there. I broke into the house and stored all of the gold i had collected in a room deep inside the house. Then when i started exploring the house i realised that the house kept changing. Everything moved around constantly.
I went back to my gold and after a while i had made a compass that would always point at the gold, just in case i got lost in the house.
I lived in the house for a few years, which may have been a century or more because there is no way of knowing the time in there. Occasionally i would leave the house in search of more gold and now there is a gigantic collection of gold in there.
A few years ago people started turning up at the house to try and steal my gold. This enraged me and i killed all who came. That is why i tried to kill you, im sorry about that by the way.
One day i was sitting with my gold when this massive crab materialised in front of me, i tried to slay it but its shell was too tough. Eventually it managed to take my eyes and it scuttled away deeper into the house. Not long afterwards you turned up.
And now evil things appear in the house, they shift shapes rapidly so i don't know what they are, they took my gold, and the house expelled me. This piece of gold should last me just over a week so I need to regain entry into the house soon in order to get more if i'm to survive.
I know it sounds stupid but i could tell the house was empty and after I discovered that it changes I realised that it would be a good defence if anyone came near.